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LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE 8.17 59 I was around drinking a lot," Harlow says. "And I see people get shitfaced and it doesn't look appealing to me." On "Hitchcock," he raps, "I'm moving with a pack of kids and supervising acid trips," and when I ask him about that lyric, he says he's taken the drug twice. e second time wasn't planned. He saw his friends in the bathroom, they asked him if he wanted some and he put a tab on his tongue. It led to what he describes as "the most euphoric moment of creation that I've had." He was sweaty, his heart pumping. "To me it's like being high on weed but to a way harder extreme," he says. It's an unreleased track he doesn't want to name in this story, but that night in the Garden he and his friends danced and jumped to what Harlow believed was, for the first time, a song he'd made that they'd actually listen to riding around in the car. "Seeing my friends' reaction, for me that was really validating," he says. "But after that moment I was so scared to do that again. It's easy to see why artists get into substance abuse because of the incredi- ble shit you will create, but you probably get to a point where you don't even believe in yourself sober and then die from an overdose 10 years down the road," he says. "e acid took me somewhere else. We came up with concepts that I never would have come up with sober probably. And that's special. But that's why I don't like doing drugs. I'm scared to not be able to create or be happy with- out them. And they can make you happy as hell. People tiptoe around the word happy with drugs. "It's scary for me to think about some- thing making you happy like that so often that you can't even feel happiness naturally, which is my life goal. I'm not about to skip levels and try to get there with some drugs because I know it won't be real." He says he's happiest after he makes something "perfect and profound." "When I feel like I actually made art," he says. "In that moment, you feel like you're doing exactly what you're supposed to do on this earth. You almost feel like everything about you — even your flaws — is perfect. It's pure bliss. Ten times better than sex." dom. "at shit was ass to me." Y Tu Mamá También. "It explores the Oedipus complex, which was intriguing to me because I like older women." Older women: He tweets that he wants Meryl Streep to adopt him. His Instagram includes a photo of Marisa Tomei (caption: "i really shouldn't keep puttin' y'all on to all the middle aged actresses i want to make children with") and a photo of one of his elementary school teachers (caption: "this is where the fantasies began"). "Oh, I'm ob- sessed with older women." What age range? "I mean, there's really not a limit on it. As long as they're somewhat attractive, it could go into 50s. Sixty's a bit much." Has he had success? "e oldest I've had true success with is about six years older than me. ere's this one woman, I was going over to her apartment and drinking tea and she's 38. As soon as I started talking about sex, she said she didn't know if she was ready. She always talked about how on my 20th birthday she would." How'd he meet a 38-year-old? "I was at a listening party for — shit, I don't know if I should tell you all this!" Love: "I'm excited to be madly in love with somebody. I think that'll be real tight." Fatherhood: "If it's not music, it's hard for me to always feel like I've got this purpose. And I feel like having a kid will give me this immediate purpose. I like to teach people things. I like seeing growth in general — in myself, in other people. I would take so much pride in being a father. I think I'd be a dope dad." Food: "Copelan introduced me to toast. Just jelly and butter." Cheese pizza, no toppings. "Ketchup is the one condiment I love." Jimmy John's order: the Slim #1, which is ham and provolone on French bread. "I eat so much fast food. I get it from my dad. I'm addicted to sugar, fat, carbs — all that. Some people don't think it's a vice, but it will kill you too. at's why I don't smoke or drink or anything." e day of his Headliners show, Harlow was at the twins' house near Churchill Downs and noticed a small glass bottle on the coffee table. "Can I hit that?" he asked "You don't want to hit that," Shloob said. "It's not cologne?" Shloob shook his head. It was a small bottle of bourbon. "My dad's actually never been drunk be- cause his dad passed away from alcoholism, so he had no interest in it and it's not like Harlow has been traveling a lot more lately to Bass Recording, an Atlanta studio owned by Lexington native Finis "KY" White, who works with big names like Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz. Instead of his bedroom, Harlow will go to the parking lot to write alone in his car for hours. "Everybody has their way of doing it," White says. White is almost always the last one to leave, but sometimes Harlow and his friends are up so late that he just says, "Y'all stay." On one recent trip, Harlow and his friends slept at the studio. "KY gets in late, so if we sleep there we have the studio all day and don't have to wait for him," Harlow says. Harlow has been considering moving to At- lanta, possibly using his parents' connections through their Signarama business to get him a job down there to cover rent. "I think I'll live in other places in my life. In terms of where I lay up and just sit in the sun, I'd like to live in Florida or L.A.," Harlow says. "But I'd like to start a family here." Wyatt says he'd move with Harlow to Atlanta, but even if they stay in Louisville, Wyatt is not going back for his sophomore year at the University of Cincinna- ti. "e time to try it is now, while I'm young," Wyatt says. "I'll go back if I fail — but I don't talk about that." Harlow doesn't either. "When I wake up in the morning, music is what I'm thinking of," he says. "It's almost like having a child. Maybe not as strong as that but, if you have a child, even if you're not literally thinking of them, I'm sure it's always there in the back of your head. Music never leaves me. If I go out to a party I might be focusing on something else but in the back of my head my priority is mu- sic. With it being like that, I feel like there's no way I can't make it happen for myself." Harlow knows his parents wanted him to go to college. "I can't blame them for not expect- ing to have a rapper as a son," he says. "But I found my purpose." His dad says, "e jury's still out, but we've told him, 'Let's see what happens the next four years of your life.'" Maggie says, "You don't realize your kid is gonna send a meteor into your life. I kind of had to talk myself off the ledge — OK, he's not going to college — but why shouldn't he pursue his dream?" "I CAN'T BLAME MY PARENTS FOR NOT EXPECTING TO HAVE A RAPPER AS A SON. BUT I FOUND MY PURPOSE." Continued on page 136