Louisville Magazine

APR 2012

Louisville Magazine is Louisville's city magazine, covering Louisville people, lifestyles, politics, sports, restaurants, entertainment and homes. Includes a monthly calendar of events.

Issue link: https://loumag.epubxp.com/i/59337

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Page 65 of 132

Beverages Bourbon. Tat's what you're drinking. We'll have beer and wine and soda, but really, we'll respect you more if you go with the bourbon. You have two choices: straight (on the rocks is acceptable) or a mint julep. And no, we won't make you a julep "with a little less bourbon." You're walking home anyway, or catching a ride, or sacking out on the couch. Enjoy. Food Timing Betting You may see some unfamiliar things on the table, but that's part of the cultural experi- ence. To our kosher and/or vegetarian friends: We respect your beliefs, and we especially appreciate you today, because that means more country ham for us. Everyone else, get yourself a slice, put it on one of those little yellow buns (shipped from Louisville's Camelot Bakery yesterday) with some mustard or mayo, and go to town. We also have three other kinds of sandwiches: t QJNFOUP DIFFTF QSPOPVODFE iQJNFOOBw t PMJWF OVU ZPV don't have this in New York — USVTU VT t #FOFEJDUJOF (that's the creamy green toothpaste-looking stuff) Tey're all a little weird, they're all good, and they're all the kind of thing that little old ladies serve at "luncheons" but even the manliest men will devour. And, please, save room for the chocolate-and- XBMOVU %FSCZ 1JF 4PNF people serve the official (and trademarked!) version from Kern's Kitchen in Louisville, but making your own is about as easy as baking gets, so we don't see the point of importing a frozen one. Te important thing is that there's bourbon in it. Here is a classic Derby rookie mistake: Te race is usually about 6:30 p.m., and you show up 10 minutes before. Oh, honey, no. Tat's like getting to the New Year's Eve party at 11:45 and missing all the fun. Lots of people in Louisville start their Derby festivities with booze at break- fast. As one of my cousins said: "One reason I love Derby is that it's socially acceptable to drink in the daytime." Amen. We'll see you around 2 p.m. Another reason to arrive early is to place your bets. But don't worry: Just because we throw a Derby party doesn't mean we know anything about horse racing. We don't, and you don't have to either. (Every Derby party has somebody with "a friend at the track," so you can place a real bet if you know what you're doing.) We do a few totally random betting pools — completely legal, darling — and all you have to do is draw a name out of a hat. Tis gives you a reason to cheer during the race, because you've got two dollars riding on the outcome. Ladies, be sure to tuck your winnings into your cleavage. Children Bring them. It's an important part of their education. I haven't missed a Derby party since I was a baby. Miscellaneous t -FBSO BU MFBTU POF IPSTF T OBNF TP ZPV DBO TIPVU JU MPVEMZ during the race. It doesn't matter if your horse is winning. It's just more fun to watch if you're hollering. t 1BDF ZPVSTFMG ɨFSF T B MPU PG FBUJOH ESJOLJOH BOE UBMLJOH UP do, and it could take hours. Remember, the race is only about two minutes long. t 4UBZ BT MPOH BT ZPV MJLF ɨF CFTU %FSCZ QBSUJFT FOE XJUI about five people on the porch at midnight, bourbon in hand, looking more than a little raggedy in their dress-up clothes. Cheers, Tara 4.12 LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE [63]

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