Louisville Magazine

APR 2012

Louisville Magazine is Louisville's city magazine, covering Louisville people, lifestyles, politics, sports, restaurants, entertainment and homes. Includes a monthly calendar of events.

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138 REASONS WE LOVE DERBY S No. 69: It teaches you tricks. Booze Ruses tepping to the Churchill Downs entrance with more adrenaline than a Tor- oughbred trotting to post, Infield-goers from around the globe will again compete in that time- honored, subtle sport of smuggling alcohol into the Kentucky Derby. Tis year, I'll be among them. For the first time. And I'll be ready to share in the glory of getting my pre-purchased booze past stringent security…or in the defeat of getting it confiscated — a common fate for novices. Darren Rogers, Churchill's communications director, says each year Derby security guards fill 15 dumpsters with contraband, mostly alcohol. Any pointers? "I'll just say this — people have been very cre- ative over the years," Rogers says, coyly. "Traditions are even passed down in families." With no tips from Rogers (and no booze-smuggling legacy of my own), I took my research elsewhere. And I'm here to share my finds be- cause nothing screams "amateur infielder" louder than sipping an overpriced mint julep from a commemorative Derby glass. METHOD 1: OVERT DECEPTION My cousin Mark swears by sneaking in the most discreet alcohol — the kind that looks like water. Pretty simple: Fill a plastic water bottle with gin or vodka and re-seal the lid with a ring of super glue. METHOD 2: INCOGNITO INTRUSION If clear alcohol isn't your drink of choice (and t #PVSCPO CZ UIF CVODI " GSJFOE PODF TQFOU BO FOUJSF 0BLT %BZ PQ- erating on bananas, carefully slic- ing the skin with an exacto knife, removing the fruit, then replacing it with a long balloon — the kind used to make balloon animals — filled with bourbon, and super glu- ing the peels shut. He managed to get a fifth of Jack Daniel's into a bunch and a half. t "MDPIPM BDDFTTPSJFT (FBS MPWJOH folks will find an array of merchan- dise online made specifically for this sport. Items range from flip- flop flasks to vodka-filled packets of "rubbing" alcohol pads, just like you'd find in a first-aid kit. Some people sew secret compartments into sky-high Derby hats or acces- sorize further with a thigh-strap flask or jewelry with liquid-carrying capsules. Tere's even something DBMMFE UIF #PVSCPO #SB t $BUIFUFS 4FMG FYQMBOBUPSZ METHOD 3: PLANNING AHEAD it shouldn't be on Derby Day), you'll need to be a bit slyer. Tink Trojan Horse of bour- bon. t 0SBOHF BT JO UIF GSVJU DPDLUBJMT .Z friend Sharon relies on a delicate surgical pro- cedure that has her injecting citrus fruits, via syringe, with a couple shots of alcohol. t 8IJTLFZ TVC .Z XPSL DPMMFBHVFT VTF B hollowed-out sandwich to hide booze bottles. For optimal capacity, they make their sand- wiches with a big loaf of artisan bread, in- sert a liquor bottle and then tuck toppings around the edges. For true daredevils, a precarious option re- mains: planting your alcohol on-site in ad- vance. We've all heard of people sneaking into Churchill Downs on a less-crowded day (or even at night) to hide booze in the rafters or other nooks. A friend of mine says he knows a family with an insider who, for generations, has let them hide their hooch before Derby. Whichever method suits you, it is crucial to QMBZ JU DPPM :PVS #PVSCPO #SB XJMM CF JO WBJO if you have shifty eyes and shaky hands. — Colleen Stewart No. 71: Two minutes is more than enough. Have you ever yawned during the Super Bowl? The Final Four? World Series? Thought so. Thanks for being honest. Now, have you ever yawned during the Kentucky Derby? Course not. There's no downtime in the Derby, no run-to-the-fridge time. You can't yawn when the fate of your Derby pick depends solely on your cheering long enough and loud enough to get him to the finish line first. You can't yawn when your heart's in your throat. No. 72: [26] LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE 4.12 ILLUSTRATION BY ROBBY DAVIS PHOTO BY GAIL KAMENISH No. 70: Barn cats.

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