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102 LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE 7.15 ypal.org/connect cvs.com she was ferocious, with just one objective: keep the man away from her daughters. "I remember swinging, just punching as much as I could and pushing him. I wanted to keep him away from that hallway," Allen says. Te struggle seemed to go on forever, and then, with a resound- ing crack and the feel of burning steel going through her like an arrow, everything came to an abrupt stop. "It was almost like he froze for a second. Like a split second, he just stood there. Ten he dropped the gun and ran out the door," she says. Allen's careful log of the breather's phone calls allowed police to tie this attack to an earli- er rape of a woman who looked a lot like Allen. DNA evidence in the rape case did the rest. But Allen was unmoored. Te frst time she walked through the door of her house after her release from the hospital, she threw up everywhere. Not long after, the family moved. "I couldn't even stand being in that house. Te main thing for me was sleeping at night. I would constant- ly hear gunshots, but there wouldn't be any gunshots. I didn't want to be around anybody. I had a real hard time being in public. I was always watching everyone. It took me awhile to break myself of that. I was terrifed of guns after that." Eventually, she changed her mind about guns. For the last few years, she has worked with friends to sharpen her shooting skills. Jen- kins' class is part of that training. Allen's oldest daughter, one of the two little girls who slept through the whole attack, has begun frearms training. She'll be 15 in June. "I'm confdent now that if someone would come to my door, they would run away very quickly," Allen says. "I look back now and realize I could have done so many things diferently. "I would never want to live with taking someone's life. But if it comes down to me or my kids' lives, there is no way our lives would be taken." Listening to Allen's story, I nearly miss my chance to take my last shots of the night. I scoop up my gun and head to where Jen- kins stands near the target. I don't feel exhilarat- ed. I don't feel empowered, which is something a lot of women say about shooting. (Te idea that a gun would have anything to do with my sense of self-efcacy — I fnd that almost ofen- sive.) But I like the noise. I like the camaraderie of these women. It is fun to try something and not completely suck at it. Trough the evening Jenkins has taught me how to hold the gun safely. He's shown me how to carry the gun to be prepared to shoot. Soon, my gun will be hidden in my house and absolutely nobody but me will know where it is. But as darkness falls, I load the revolver. I can do this. I aim at the target and pull the trigger.