Louisville Magazine

MAR 2014

Louisville Magazine is Louisville's city magazine, covering Louisville people, lifestyles, politics, sports, restaurants, entertainment and homes. Includes a monthly calendar of events.

Issue link: https://loumag.epubxp.com/i/267865

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Page 17 of 124

3.14 LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE 1 5 What are the odds you'll enjoy these March happenings? betting window z — Josh Moss 1:1 ODDS-ON FAVORITE 3:2 4:1 6:1 9:1 LONGSHOT for a kid Question Why is fourth grade better than third grade? USA Today reported last month that a Super PAC supporting Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's re-election raised $1.2 million dollars in the last half of 2013. And not one penny came from Kentuckians. Ready for the name of this Super PAC? Wait for it … Kentuckians for Strong Leadership! Duh. But McConnell's not alone. His opponent, Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes, amassed some $200,000 from out-of-state labor groups during the same time period, according to USA Today. Recent polls have shown the two neck-in-neck in November's Senate race. Speaking of necks, if Super PACs provided muscle rather than money, we'd bet on Grimes. Those la- bor union dudes would destroy the fancy-pants investors and hedge-fund boys donating to McConnell. — Anne Marshall "The teachers are better. There are lots of birthdays. And we have a guinea pig and a bunny." — Abe, a local fourth-grader A bit DIRTY Calling in sick Upside: "Yeah, boss, I don't know why (cough) I always (cough, cough) seem to get sick on Thursdays and Fridays during (cough, cough, cough) March Madness." Opening-round games are March 20 and 21. Last year we watched at Drake's in St. Matthews, which has fat-screen televisions as wallpaper. Downside: You're going to jinx yourself one of these days and actually get so Russickulous that you won't be able to watch the games. March in general Upside: Is March in Louisville better than May in Louisville? Wait, please hear us out before you accuse us of blasphemy! See, winter is melting into spring, which inspires a Mardi Gras-sized crowd that's sick of hibernating to show up on Bardstown Road for the annual St. Patrick's Day Parade, this year on the 15th, which is the day before Selection Sunday and two weeks into the Humana Festival of New American Plays at Actors Theatre. Plus, Derby excitement is entering the paddock. Downside: Kinda gray and rainy. Arcade Fire Upside: Songs from Refektor, the band's newest album, will make you dance March 6 at the Yum! Center. Downside: The woman in the seat next to you who won't stop talking about how much she likes the band's older stuff better. The Sing-Off Live (March 16 at the Palace) Upside: The a cappella competition on NBC is one of our guilty pleasures. Downside: At the Brown Theatre on March 21, comedienne Joan Rivers will surely make fun of us for liking The Sing-Off. Arena football Upside: Remember Jared Lorenzen, the "Hefty Lefty" who threw for a billion yards as UK's quarterback in the early 2000s and won a Super Bowl ring as an NFL back-up? He recently made a pool-emptying splash with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters of the Continental Indoor League, mainly for his listed weight of 320 pounds. We got to Googling and found out that Louisville has a team called the Kentucky Xtreme, which will play the River Monsters at Freedom Hall on March 23. Downside: Lorenzen's football career may be over after a recent leg/ankle injury. Bummer, because the guy is awesome. He even laughs at all of his nicknames: "the Pillsbury Throwboy," "Quarter(got)back," "QBese." We'd like to add one to the canon: "Lard Pass." 12-25 BIT.indd 15 2/20/14 11:52 AM

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