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hoping for a glanders breakout on Saratoga's backside that mandated canceling the re- mainder of meet. Te meet endured. And amazingly, so did my angle. As picks needed to be sub- mitted before each day's races, there was no advantage to watching live races. Tat be- ing said, after sending Huddie my entries, I configured the Horse Races Now iPhone app (, must get!) to beep 15 minutes before a race in which I had a pony. An abridged list of places where I streamed Saratoga races this meet: the Louisville Zoo, I-64, the National Zoo, my upstairs bathroom, in line for a draft beer at Whole Foods (, must get!), my down- stairs bathroom and while manning a booth at the St. Joseph's Orphans Picnic. Never lower than 18th place — again, out of 129 — during the entire contest, I was in the top four for weeks four through six. Money not yet won had been mentally spent — on a $5,000 claiming race for fillies and mares three years old and up on Hal- loween at Churchill Downs. Te angle, however, ended up becoming a metaphor for my performance. In the fi- nal week, I went 0-for-8 over the four-day weekend — the only player in the top 30 not to win a damn cent — and got passed by closers with late speed, three of whom hit on a 54-1 shot that paid a whopping $161 (a pick that by itself bested almost a third of the contestants' meet-long performances). I finished 12th. Almost going wire-to-wire, Dave Red- grave, a dump-truck dispatcher born and raised in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., won the Huddie by several lengths. He relied on Toro-Graph sheets (a handicapping tool), insight from his father-in-law, who owns horses (including a 15-1 winner Redgrave bet on the last weekend of the meet), and his own handicapping skills. Given how I have none of those things, I was happy finishing 12th; it's top 10 per- cent, which is better than I can say for my high school career. Of course, with 129 entrants, the results weren't going to please everyone. "I am not playing that #huddie pool anymore," tweeted pro handicapper @Pick4Win on the contest's final Saturday. "People can pick the dumbest horses & r now in 3rd, 4th, & 5th. Id rather burn the $100 entry fee." It's likely that torching a Frankin will yield the same result for me, but Huddie willing (running the pool takes the chemical engi- neer four hours a weekend), I'll be in next year. Now: learn how to read Toro-Graph sheets, get a relative to buy racehorses, rent a summer home near Saratoga. You know, for work. 11.12 LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE [17] www.nanzkraſt.com www.eyecareinstitute.com