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40 LOUISVILLE MAGAZINE 4.17 A BIT DEEPER On the Muscle This cool and classic racing expression describes how a well-conditioned, ready- to-run horse looks in the paddock while preening, prancing and strutting. But take a look at the fedora-wearing, julep-guzzling gent next to you and tell me he's not also on the muscle. Bonus points for the once-a- year cigar smoker blowing clouds in your face just to announce his presence. Talk about preening. And you've really got to be on the muscle to pull off high heels on the Churchill Downs bricks all day. Washed-out, Lathered-up Whether it's the heat, the crowds or just the stress of the entire day, many horses run their race before the gates ever open. Horses are bad liars and often tip their hands about the type of performance they are about to deliver — by getting noticeably worked up with sweat and other general Pony Parlance By Brandon Quick Photo by Adam Mescan One handicapper's take on how racing idioms can capture humans and horses in one fell swoop. signs of anxiety in the paddock and post parade. People, while surely the better liars, are also frequently unable to cope with the physical demands of Derby Day. Too drunk, under-hydrated, overheated, over-extended. It's pretty clear by about 1 p.m. which humans have already run their race. Make a note that, unlike gray horses, fair-complexioned folks are bad bets. Never Turned a Hair Then there's the opposite of the horse who gets washy and lathery before the race. Oddly poetic, the old racetrack expression "never turned a hair" refers to horses who are demonstrably poised or resilient, who are mannerly in their affairs. I once watched two-time Horse of the Year Wise Dan win the Firecracker Handicap at Churchill in a summer monsoon while being squished up against the hedge of the turf course. He marched regally to the winner's circle, lifted his head high, had his picture made and headed back to the barn like the champion he was. Never turned a hair. Now, there aren't too many human equivalents to Wise Dan, but undoubtedly plenty of folks seem to thrive amid the sound and the fury of Oaks/Derby weekend. Several years ago — I believe it was the year Rachel Alexandra won the Oaks, so let's call it 2009 — I witnessed a sharply dressed lady, in an insanely large but chic Derby hat, holding a small child in her left arm while talking on a cell phone wedged between her right shoulder and ear. With her right hand, she carried a program, betting slips and a wad of cash. In her left hand (the baby still occupied her left arm), she held a cocktail. All this while making a bet and being on the muscle in stiletto heels. Never turned a hair. Speed Duel In short, this is something you don't want if your horse is on the lead and something you relish if your horse is mid-pack or trailing. A "speed duel" describes a pair or group of overly contentious horses on the lead, forcing one another to run faster and exert too much energy too quickly. It's also referred to as getting "hooked." Such runners are likely to fade late, and may even be the same horses who were washy and lathery before the race. The Kentucky Derby is a mile-and-a- quarter race — no ordinary distance for These guys? Definitely "on the muscle."